We are all neighbors

The election is over, and it’s clear from the results that our country is divided. On one side are people who believe the country has been under siege, and on the other, people who think we should sign up for another four years of the same. 

Einstein once said that if given an hour to solve a problem, he would spend 55 minutes defining the problem and five minutes solving it. And while at UPSTREAM we try to stay focused on the solution, this is my attempt to define the problem.

Beyond the disinformation and outrage politics, beyond the life and death impacts of the Covid-19 pandemic, and beyond the stoking of racial animosity and scapegoating, there lies the simple fact that both sides see the other as adversaries. 

We tune into our respective news and information sources, tune out that which doesn’t fit with our world view and descend into the echo chambers of AI-controlled social media thoughtscapes. 

“How can they think this way?” “What is wrong with them?” “They are ruining this country.” 

Over time, these thoughts and feelings turn into hardened patterns in our minds, and we begin to believe that the “others” are truly our enemies. 

Deep divisions and fault lines have been built over decades that prevent us from working together to solve the problems our country is facing. While there are plenty of reasons why we’re in this predicament, I believe we can still focus on finding our way out of it. 

I recently listened to a podcast featuring the historian John Meacham. He talked about a similar time in our country during the Great Depression. Then as now, the country was deeply divided. But according to Meacham, we found our way out –in part – because President Franklin Delanor Roosevelt encouraged us to “see each other not as adversaries, but as neighbors.” I believe that this is a perspective we need to share and magnify. 

For several years, I coached my daughter’s travel basketball team with another dad. After a couple times grabbing beers to discuss strategy for the team, it was clear that he and I were from opposite ends of the political spectrum. But we loved the game of basketball and we loved our daughters and we loved coaching together – so we became friends.

One night at a hotel after a long day of basketball, we sent the girls to bed and got into it over gun rights and restrictions. I couldn’t understand why he needed military grade hardware to hunt deer, and he couldn’t understand why I didn’t see background checks as the slippery slope to taking away his guns. But we listened to each other, and in the end, I felt like I clearly understood his perspective, and that he understood mine, and we even found a few things to agree on. 

Most importantly, I didn’t see him as a “gun nut” and he didn’t see me as “moonbat liberal.” We were two Americans having a conversation and listening to each other about an issue that mattered. We were neighbors. And we could agree on some things and disagree on others without seeing each other as the “enemy.”

I believe that we need to seek out more opportunities to connect with “people from the other side” so that we can start to remember that we’re supposed to be on the same side. And so that the American experiment can continue bravely on and truly live up to the ideal of “United We Stand.”

This is the approach we’re taking at UPSTREAM. We know that the people who invented the internal combustion engine didn’t have any idea that 100 years later, it would be destroying the climate. Or that the engineers that created plastic had any idea that it would be fouling our oceans, littering cities, and destroying landscapes and people’s health. 

Most people who work for major corporations want their companies to be good stewards of the planet, to create good jobs and to support strong communities. While there’s an important role for calling out bad behavior, there’s also an important role for dialogue, for seeking to understand each other and for moving forward with a common purpose.

So let’s do our best to find ways to reach out and dive deep, to be courageous listeners and common ground seekers, to leave the finger-pointing behind and jumpstart the friendmaking. The future of our country likely depends on it.